Getting in on the Ground(hog) Level

Today is Groundhog Day, an event featuring an overgrown rodent whose life is in the potential path of every farmer's pickup truck tires, every farm dog's hunting ambitions, and every barn and shed owner's rifle sight.

For some reason, we have romanticized this furry tunnel maker into a prognosticator of weather. And even the prognosis makes no sense. When Punxsultauny Phil in Pennsylvania, or Buckeye Chuck in Ohio woke up and saw their shadow this morning, we figured we will have six more weeks of winter, which is bad, but what if they had not seen their shadow? Would that mean spring won’t come until the middle of March instead?  Six weeks from now?  They never really cover that.

No, this is just a way to distract us from the fact that we are between football and baseball seasons, and during the coldest time of the year, have only basketball to watch, so apparently we would rather watch groundhogs. 

You do know this is a northern holiday, right? The Arizonans are not waking up to see what Road Runner Ralph sees, nor are folks in Texas watching for Amarillo Armadillo Andy.

Perhaps the folks in Montana are waking up to Boise Bob the Bison, who, if he sees his shadow means another four months of winter, while maybe the people of New Hampshire strap on their snowshoes and walk to find White Mountain Willy, the white-tailed deer, to have a breakfast of venison to begin the month.  (Too dark?)

I don't even know how many states have Groundhog day, and if I cared, I would Google it, but I have my own built in Google that has been making things up for decades. (I just made that up!)

To my mind, Michigan has The Wolverine, now under contract with Marvel Movies; Wisconsin has Badger Billy, and South Dakota has Pierre.

The whole city; they just all get up this morning, look out the window and say, "Uff da, still cold."

Whatever state you are in -- tired, frozen, grumpy, lethargic, depressed -- today is setting itself up to be whatever you want it to be. However you found yourself this morning is how you will look upon the mammal prognosticators for wisdom and guidance on the weather ahead through Valentine's Day, President's Day, Super Bowl Sunday, March Madness and St. Patrick's Day. 

Regardless, by the end of March, you will know that not only was the groundhog right or wrong, the groundhog was just one more way to sell Sealy Mattresses, or other things not related to dirt-throwing rodents.

Today is Groundhog Day, get up; look for the sun, get ready for Spring; it’s less than a season away!

Hog Carols

Ol’ G’Hog has his own spot on the calendar, a festival in Pennsylvania, and a classic movie. You know what is missing? A theme song. A Groundhog carol, a Hog-calling!

So, let me offer these newly minted gems:

Phillip the Groundhog

(tune: Rudolph)

Phillip the Groundhog, had a very special task,

Once a year he’d show, so the world could know, 

and would do just what they asked.

So, on the Second, of the February month,

People look at Phil, ‘cause he fits the bill,  

Then they all go home to lunch.

We must admit, we have a fit,

If shadows we don’t see,

But Fuzzy Phil, entertains us still,

A prognosticator he.

Then he returns to his cozy little hole,

He has done his best, now he’s earned a rest.

Such a helpful little soul.

Blinkety, blink, blink, blinkety, blink, blink,

See the shadow now,

Blinkety, blink, blink, blinkety, blink, blink,

Spring will come somehow.

Sunny Morn

(Tune: Silent Night)

Sunny morn, shadowy morn,

Phil has seen, alas, forlorn,

There will not be an early spring,

Six more weeks of what winter brings,

Phil the Groundhog has seen,

Phil the Groundhog has seen.

Out From The Hole

(Tune: Up on the Housetop)

Out from the hole comes the ‘hog,

Sleeping in his hollow log,

Blinking his eyes, what will he see?
Shadow or not, what will it be?
Oh-Oh-Oh, what will he see?

Oh-Oh-Oh, what will it be?

Sunny or cloudy, groundhog speaks;
Will it be winter six more weeks?