In the Big Inning

By Paul Lintern, Editor, the Joyful Noiseletter

“I wonder which of the disciples would have been the best ballplayer,” pondered Pastor Bing, of the Happy Church of the Open Bible, at the weekly pastor’s breakfast at Pam’s Sushi and Sauerkraut Buffet.

The others stopped mid-sentence and mid-chew and looked at Bing, wondering again how his mind was working.

“Seriously,” he said. “Have you ever wondered how the disciples would have been in other roles? Theater group, rock band, construction crew, baseball team?”

Everyone shook their heads, no. But then, their eyes began wandering and gazing as they considered the question.

“I could see them as a solid rock band — AD/BC,” laughed Rev. Mike of Totally Free Methodist.

“Or a theater group — Sabbath Night Live!,” offered Right Rev. Lee of Greater St. Simon COGIC.

“A baseball team? They would have to play for the Padres,” laughed Sister Rhonda of Kingdom Gracepoint Fellowship Brethren AME.

“Or they would all qualify for the Cardinals,” said Father Tony of Current Pope Catholic Church.

“Sure,” said Bing, “but what positions would they play? I mean, of course Jesus is the manager.”

“And team owner and coach,” Sister Celina of Really Full Gospel said.

“I was thinking God the Father as team owner and the Holy Spirit as coaching staff,” Bing said.

“One and the same,” Celina answered.

“Good point,” said Bing.

“I suppose I would have Peter on the Mound, he seemed to pitch a lot of ideas to Jesus,” Vicar Victor said.

“And James and John and Andrew in the outfield — fisherman are good at catching things,” Pastor Jeff offered.

“And Matthew at first base; a tax collector is used to things being thrown at him,” said Pastor Sally, of Fifth/Third Presbyterian.

“And Thomas as catcher; he doesn’t let anything get past him,” said Pastor Kathy of Red Door Lutheran.

The pork and sauerkraut omelets were getting cold because suddenly everyone was contributing to ideas of an Apostolic baseball team.

“Let’s put Nathaniel and Philip at second and short — they are a good double-play combo, and Simon the Zealot would be zealous at third base,” said Father Calil of SS Basil and Chive Salesian Orthodox.

“And the others can be in the bullpen, although I’m not expecting much out of Judas,” Jeff said. “I think he would have fancied himself as a closer, but he obviously was not going to get the save.”

“And that’s why this is a good idea, this baseball analogy,” Bing said.

“Jesus always gets the save.”