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The
Joyful Noiseletter is
a friend to pastors, public speakers, secretaries, and church editors. It will brighten your sermons
and your presentations.
JN
is light enough to carry from the pocket to the pulpit to challenge,
cheer up, and wake up a congregation.
The
jokes, anecdotes, and other editorial materials in The
Joyful Noiseletter are reprintable in local church
newsletters and bulletins of JN subscribers.
Here
are a few of our favorite jokes and stories from The
Joyful Noiseletter. Why not e-mail your favorite funny
story to JoyfulNZ@aol.com?
Out
of the mouths of God's kids
A
small boy told a Sunday school teacher: "When you die, God
takes care of you like your parents did when you were alive — only
God doesn't yell at you all the time."
—
via Rev. Dennis R. Fakes
Lodi, CA
A
woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to
her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say
the blessing?"
"I
wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied.
"Just
say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said.
The
little girl bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth
did I invite all these people to dinner?"
—
via Charles Laine
Franklin, TN
A
pastor was speaking to a group of second-graders about the resurrection
of Jesus when one student asked, "What did Jesus say right
after He came out of the grave?"
The
pastor explained that the Gospels do not tell us what He said.
The
hand of one little girl shot up. "I know what He said: He said,
'Tah-dah!'"
—
via Andy Fisher
Denville, NJ
Signs
and wonders
Sign
on the outside wall of a Maryland convent: "Trespassers will
be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."
—
The Sisters of Mercy
Message
on the outside sign of Faith Temple Church, Sioux Falls, SD: "We
welcome all denominations — $1, $5, $10, $20, $50, $100."
—
via Rev. Jeff Hayes
Bloopers
that gnash the teeth
Blooper
in a church bulletin: "The church had a going-away party for
Pastor __________. The congregation was anxious to give him a little
momentum."
—
via Joseph A. Maher
Oxnard, CA
In
the bulletin of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Catholic Church, Palm Coast,
FL: "We will have a Special Holiday Bingo & Dinner on Monday
evening, Dec. 30. You will be given two bingo packs, which cover
all games played, and your choice of children or roast beef for
dinner."
—
via Rev. Frederick R. Parke
From
the Dalton (GA) Daily Citizen News: "John ________,
ordained as a deamon, will pastor two churches in Fannin County."
—
via Rev. Dustin Pennington
Dalton, GA
Rev.
Robert A. Pollauf of Detroit passed on this account of how Daniel
saved his life in the lion's den: King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon
was astonished that the hungry lions had not eaten Daniel. He summoned
Daniel and promised him that if he would reveal his secret, the
king would give him his freedom.
"It
was easy, your excellency," Daniel said. "I went around
and whispered in each lion's ear — 'After dinner, there will be
speeches.'"
When
a young minister was still single, he preached a sermon he entitled,
"Rules for Raising Children." After he got married and
had children of his own, he changed the title of the sermon to "Suggestions
for Raising Children." When his children got to be teenagers,
he stopped preaching on that subject altogether.
—
Rev. Bernard Brunsting
A
man had been shipwrecked on a remote island in the Pacific, and
was alone for 20 years. When a ship finally arrived, his rescuers
were impressed with the three buildings he had built and asked him
about them.
"Well,"
the man replied, "this is my house, and that building over
there is my church. It's a wonderful church and I hate to leave
it."
"And
what is the third building yonder?" a rescuer asked.
"Oh,
that is the church I used to go to," the man replied.
—
via Palmer Stiles
Melbourne, FL
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