God's kids say & do the funniest things
Risa Samra of Saginaw, MI, a retired teacher herself, passed along some questions and students' answers that drive teachers bonkers and into early retirement:
Question: "What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common?"
Answer: "Unusual names."
Question: "What was Sir Walter Raleigh famous for?"
Answer: "He was a noted figure in history because he invented cigarettes and started a craze for bicycles."
Question: "What is a nitrate?"
Answer: "Much cheaper than a day rate."
Question: "Name the wife of Orpheus, whom he attempted to save from the underworld."
Answer: "Mrs. Orpheus."
Question: "What is the meaning of the word 'varicose'?"
Answer: "Close by."
Question: "What is a fibula?"
Answer: "A little lie."
Question: "Explain the phrase 'free press'."
Answer: "When your mom irons trousers for you."
Question: "Where was Hadrian's Wall built?"
Answer: "Around Adrian's garden."
Question: "The race of people known as Malays come from which country?"
Answer: "Malaria."
:)
A father brought his boss home for dinner. The whole family was seated around the dining table as the father carved the roast beef.
The son looked down at the beef on his plate and said, "This is the funniest looking drumstick I ever saw!"
"That's beef," replied the mother. "What made you think it was a drumstick?"
"This morning before Dad went to work, he said he was bringing some turkey home for dinner!"
‒ Pastor Tal Bonham
:)
"Mom," a small girl asked, "how come men don't ever go to heaven?"
"Of course men go to heaven," her mother replied. "Why do you ask that?"
"Because all the angels I've ever seen don't have whiskers," the child said.
"That's because most men get to heaven by a close shave," the mother said.
‒ Msgr. Arthur Tonne
:)
"A small boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "I'm a werewolf. Trick or Treat."
"But you're not wearing a costume," I said. "You've got your everyday clothes on."
"Yeah, well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?" the boy replied.
‒ via Rev. Dr. Karl R. Kraft
Dover, DE
:)
©2024 the Joyful Noiseletter. All Rights Reserved
Articles
Christian Performer Matthew West Lets Humor Bring Gospel Joy in Songs of Grace
Fairly Spiritual Worship Service
God's kids say and do the funniest things
The Gospel according to Erma Bombeck
Abe Lincoln's sanity saved by his humor
ON MY SERIOUS SIDE: WHERE DID ALL THE PEACEMAKERS GO?
THE HOLY GHOSTWRITER Rejoice in the different ways people worship God
A laugh a day keeps the psychiatrist away
God's kids say & do the funniest things
Will Rogers - America's greatest journalist?
Christian Civil War? A Joyful Jesus or a Sad Jesus?
After the Winter, God sends the Spring
The Holy Ghostwriter: Unpraiseworthy Band
Pastor lifts congregation's spirits
An old Orthodox prayer to end an unorthodox war
IT'S A MIRACLE! A health and diet book with a spiritual focus
A New Year's prayer to end all epidemics
The healing power and joy of forgiveness
The Holy Ghostwriter: First Christmas News Reports
The Gospel according to Erma Bombeck
GESUNDHEIT! What we all can learn from Tom Brady, 'St. GOAT'
Is the Press Sleeping on the Job? Beyond Pesticides & the rise of interest in organic foods
IN THE MARRY MONTH OF JUNE - The funny side of weddings and marriages
'St. Mugg's' resurrection: 'Laughter is God's therapy'
An Easter Reflection: Where did the Pharaohs go?
Whatever happened to 'good works'?
185,000 members spread Joygerms worldwide
What the news media didn't tell you about pandemics
Patch Adams calls for 'a revolution of loving'
Messianic Jewish wit full of one-liners
Celebrating JN's 35th Anniversary
Why not invite brains to the coronavirus press briefings?
Groucho Marx mask befuddles coronavirus
A 'Resurrection Day' for healed parishioners?
'March of Prayer' is 'March Gladness'
Shopping Cart |
Cart is empty |
You can subscribe to the printed or electronic version of JN by:
- using our secure online store.
- filling out the Printable Order Form and mailing it, along with your check for $29, to The Joyful Noiseletter, PO Box 895, Portage, MI 49081-0895 (foreign printed subscribers add $10).
- calling TOLL-FREE, 1-800-877-2757, and using VISA, MasterCard, Discover, or American Express.