IN THE MARRY MONTH OF JUNE - The funny side of weddings and marriages

After a little boy attend his first wedding, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy replied.

"How do you know that?" his cousin asked.

"Easy," the boy replied. "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer."

‒ via newsletter of Evart (MI) United Methodist Church

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. When they reached the altar and the waiting groom, the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the pastor smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

At his wedding rehearsal dinner on the night before the wedding, the priest took the groom aside and emphatically told him, "Remember, marriage is as permanent as death!"

"That was scary for a young man," the man recalled. "I could hardly sleep the night before the wedding."

He and his wife recently celebrated their 60th anniversary.

‒ Columnist Smiley Anders
Baton Rouge (LA) Advocate


Newspaper typos:
"Mr. and Mrs. Walter F. Hill announce the coming marriage of their daughter Helene. No mate has been selected for the wedding."

‒ Richard Lederer
in his book, The Revenge of Anguished English

"They were married and lived happily even after."

‒ Richard Lederer

Sign seen in Kalamazoo, MI:
"For those weddings postponed due to COVID-19, God is giving you a second chance to think about it."

‒ via Prof. John Geisler
Kalamazoo, MI

The president of the Gondola Association in Venice, Italy, announced that the maximum capacity for the romantic boats is being reduced from six persons to five because "over the last 10 years tourists weigh more." The heavier loads often mean the boats, a favorite of honeymooners, take on water, which makes it harder for the gondoliers to navigate in heavy traffic.

"Going forward with over half a ton of meat on board is dangerous," he said.

‒ via Rev. Dr. Karl R. Kraft
Dover, DE

A husband and wife went to a Catholic priest for marital counseling.
"Father, the husband began, "we came to see you because you were married before your wife died and you became a priest – and you understand women."

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